Wednesday

#284 // Levelling Up

Photo by Jez Timms on Unsplash

I've been thinking about something for a little while: the phrase "settling down."

I've been thinking about what would happen if, instead of viewing long term relationships as "settling down", we framed them instead as "levelling up."

To clarify: this isn't to say that everyone wants to be in a relationship, or that you are in any way not whole or on a lower level not being coupled up. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to be in one. My partner and I have discussed the benefits of being single, and actually, if we hadn't met when we did, we'd probably have spent a lot more of the developmental twenties single and figuring out who and what we were really about as individuals, rather than growing intertwined.

But, I do really enjoy my relationship overall, which is why the long time bad PR around long-term relationships bugs me. And specifically, the term "settling down." 

Granted, in some regards, settling down is in reference to laying solid foundations and building on them with someone. But largely, I hear the term settling in a much more negative tone, and more often referred to as making do. 

I view long-term friendships and relationships as some of the most valuable "ships", if you will, that I'll ever navigate the sea of life with. 

People who truly have your back, who you know you can rely on, who you can have some of your most ambitious plans with, and most of all, be your true self with. What in all of this is a bad thing? Settling into the freedom of being able to be my authentic self, come good or bad? If that's the definition, I will take that. 

Relationships are not a consolation prize. The mutual decision of two people to choose each other every day, and craft something entirely unique to them is a beautiful thing. They're not something to do when you think it's about time, or there's nothing better going on.

So, in my relationships and friendships, I'm not settling down, I'm levelling up. I've found a wonderful tribe to do life with, and I intend on doing life with them to the absolute max.