Tuesday

#283 // Self Care: The one where I was a judgy bighead


Right, I'm going to write this quickly before the overthinking monster comes to get me. Yes, I know I said I'd write everyday, but using this post as some sort of public impetus / accountability partner just didn't work. My mind is the loudest voice, and it just got louder. 

I think she's currently busy thinking about chocolate digestives, so I'd better get on with it while she's distracted. 

Playstation is my nemesis.

It is, hands down, my boyfriend's first love. My friends and I even have a WhatsApp support group for the wives and girlfriends of our addicted loves. 

Ben also loves the gym. Both are long-term projects and hobbies that he loves with their elements of camaraderie, practice, skill, effort and reward. 

Just yesterday, a thought happened across my mind: "it may not look like it to you, but is this his version of self-care?"

The gym is a place to blow off steam from the day, be with similar minds and feel good. Both are spaces where you can switch off everything going on outside for a while. That's no different to me having a bath, an early night or switching off my phone for a few hours of an evening. All of them are about quietening the noise of life. His may not be as Instagram-worthy, but that doesn't make it any less worthy. In some ways, you could argue that as there's no documentation of him doing these things, that actually, they are acts truly for himself and not a feed.

I read this post about the goopification of self-care today and it challenged me further. 

I know that self-care can and should be found in the everyday. A walk through the park to get some feel-good vitamin D. Your favourite food. A nap if you can fit it in. 

His self-care shouldn't be dismissed it as frivolous or time misspent, because it doesn't fit my sometimes narrow view of what it should be. I mean, in truth, what's the difference between him playing Wildlands for a couple hours, and me binge-watching Friends for the same amount of time? Or trying to write a blog post?

Self care is exactly what it says on the tin: care for you, defined by you. Whatever it takes to help you unwind, get through the day, feel good or stay on an even keel. And only you get to define it.