#240 // I'll be me. You be you.

This photo doesn't have much to do with this post, but I'm getting my absolute life in it and clearly having a Solange Don't Touch My Hair moment of empowerment, so here we are. 

Actually, I tell a lie. I am in a groove right now. My Sasha rhythm - the soundtrack to my life, is playing a sexy beat right now and I feel some kinda fabulous. Adding another notch to the belt of self-acceptance, is an important moment to rest in. You know when a part of your being finally clicks into place and comes into clear focus, finally making sense to you? Becoming, understanding, it's a beautiful thing.

And I say all of that to say this:

Me trying to be the BEST ME, isn't dependent on, magnified by or in relation to seeing the WORST in YOU. 

Don't think me big headed (just big-haired). It's actually a thought that comes from always thinking of myself as less than someone or something. A glance at a woman rocking a great outfit, a nod to the girl with the out of this world make up, an envious glance at the woman I perceive to be a high-powered girl boss strutting the pavement in heels. Forever creating fabulous narratives for other people's lives, while critiquing the rough draft of my own that never seems quite ready.

Why can't I be like that? Why can't I be like her? Why can't I exude that maturity, that power, that gloss?

But what I've realised is that another woman living her best life, having a great day, celebrating a win, neither jeopardises, diminishes nor cancels out my own life experiences. It has no bearing. 

In much the same way that the old adage goes, "what you think of me has nothing to do with me," what I think of ME, has nothing to do with YOU.

Come. On. We've got to stop letting a constant stream of comparison of what other people are doing, determine our self-worth, how our day runs, what we feel on any given day of the week or hour of the day. Then placing our experiences above or below this self-imposed, arbitrary line.

My good hair day, doesn't mean your bad hair day. 
Me rediscovering what my sexy is, doesn't mean that your version is invalid.
My shit day shouldn't deepen because of the perceived chasm of how wonderfully yours is going, based on that boomerang on your Instagram feed. It's just a bad day.

My win, is not your loss. Your win, is not my loss.

There's always this mythical mental mind fuck game of me vs. you going on. And the most illogical thing about it all, is that we're not even running the same race. We're not in the same stadium, or a lot of the time playing the same sport! We're a bunch of individuals with wholly different experiences, upbringings and cultural complexities trying to meander this thing called life as best we can.

If you're always looking out for someone else's rose-tinted win, by default, you place yourself in the position of thorn bearing loss.

An individual by dictionary definition, is "a distinct, indivisible entity," so in it's very nature can never be comparable. 

So just enjoy being you, on your journey. 

And cheer someone else on while they're on theirs. It helps. All round.

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