Today's BEDN topic is "lists." Since gaining my membership into the thirties club, there has been a definitive moment of clarity around who I am as a person, what I like and certainly both who and what I do and do not have time for in my life any more. So today, we have a list of 10 things that simply don't matter any more, as in truth we've all got bigger fish to fry.

1. Weaving in and out of people like a pro-bob sledder to get to the tube platform first. Er, we're gonna end up on the same train clever clogs, so just calm the hell down.


And on that note, walking on the left. I'm a firm stand on the right type o'girl these days. Those 40 minutes of tube time are mine, all mine. And I will not be rushing them for anyone.

2. Having cellulite and a belly pooch. I've always had a pot belly. I might have thought that my body would magically morph into something akin to Giselle Bundchen at some point, but that's clearly not gonna happen, hey? I'm 5"2, I've got chunky thighs and a big butt. But man alive, am I strong and I kick ass in the gym. 

3. Heels. This coming from the girl that wore heels on the commute so everyone could "appreciate my ensemble" (I legit said that at one point in my life, and I legit still want to punch myself in the face to this day for making the comment). I had three pairs of those Topshop mega heels with the two inch wooden platform amongst many other ridiculous heels that I convinced myself were comfy. Ironically, it was when I worked at Christian Louboutin, King of the Heel, with an allowance for shoes, that I realised the jig was up. Great timing Glasgow.


4. Going out on a Friday night. Listen, brunch on a Saturday (booze optional) soooo trumps a Friday night out any day. Hangovers, feet that feel like they danced on shards of glass, and sleeping in and wasting my precious 48 hours off work? Yeah, don't think so. And once Gogglebox season starts? Ha, it's not even a mildly difficult decision as to which I'd prefer to be doing.

No, just NO.
5. When sometime-ish friends fall out of your life. Long gone are the days where you feel the need to know everyone and collect friends like pogs (remember those?). In the main, it goes like this: if the main form of keeping up with what the other is doing is Facebook, leave it. Real friends make effort for each other. It may not be as regular as it used to be, but you do make time. 

6. Cutting out carbs. Life is hard and potatoes ease the process somewhat.


7. Having it all figured out. Figuring out what is and isn't right for you is half the adventure, so go play. 

8. If you don't want to get married and/or have kids. It's your life and your womb. 

9. If you do want to get married, have kids, be a stay-at-home mum or any variation in between. Basically, it's all okay and nobody else's commentary of your life is necessary or required.

Bish, you better keep your opinions to yourself

10. To give an actual crap about what other people think of you. Oh you don't like what I'm wearing/doing/being. Ok, mmm that's great. So remind me, which of my bills are you paying? Is this Big Brother and did I ask for your Marcus Bentley-style commentary of my life? No? So sit down.


Today's BEDN topic is "lists." Since gaining my membership into the thirties club, there has been a definitive moment of clarity around who I am as a person, what I like and certainly both who and what I do and do not have time for in my life any more. So today, we have a list of 10 things that simply don't matter any more, as in truth we've all got bigger fish to fry.

1. Weaving in and out of people like a pro-bob sledder to get to the tube platform first. Er, we're gonna end up on the same train clever clogs, so just calm the hell down.


And on that note, walking on the left. I'm a firm stand on the right type o'girl these days. Those 40 minutes of tube time are mine, all mine. And I will not be rushing them for anyone.

2. Having cellulite and a belly pooch. I've always had a pot belly. I might have thought that my body would magically morph into something akin to Giselle Bundchen at some point, but that's clearly not gonna happen, hey? I'm 5"2, I've got chunky thighs and a big butt. But man alive, am I strong and I kick ass in the gym. 

3. Heels. This coming from the girl that wore heels on the commute so everyone could "appreciate my ensemble" (I legit said that at one point in my life, and I legit still want to punch myself in the face to this day for making the comment). I had three pairs of those Topshop mega heels with the two inch wooden platform amongst many other ridiculous heels that I convinced myself were comfy. Ironically, it was when I worked at Christian Louboutin, King of the Heel, with an allowance for shoes, that I realised the jig was up. Great timing Glasgow.


4. Going out on a Friday night. Listen, brunch on a Saturday (booze optional) soooo trumps a Friday night out any day. Hangovers, feet that feel like they danced on shards of glass, and sleeping in and wasting my precious 48 hours off work? Yeah, don't think so. And once Gogglebox season starts? Ha, it's not even a mildly difficult decision as to which I'd prefer to be doing.

No, just NO.
5. When sometime-ish friends fall out of your life. Long gone are the days where you feel the need to know everyone and collect friends like pogs (remember those?). In the main, it goes like this: if the main form of keeping up with what the other is doing is Facebook, leave it. Real friends make effort for each other. It may not be as regular as it used to be, but you do make time. 

6. Cutting out carbs. Life is hard and potatoes ease the process somewhat.


7. Having it all figured out. Figuring out what is and isn't right for you is half the adventure, so go play. 

8. If you don't want to get married and/or have kids. It's your life and your womb. 

9. If you do want to get married, have kids, be a stay-at-home mum or any variation in between. Basically, it's all okay and nobody else's commentary of your life is necessary or required.

Bish, you better keep your opinions to yourself

10. To give an actual crap about what other people think of you. Oh you don't like what I'm wearing/doing/being. Ok, mmm that's great. So remind me, which of my bills are you paying? Is this Big Brother and did I ask for your Marcus Bentley-style commentary of my life? No? So sit down.


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