Sunday

Note #197 // Facing Failure.


It’s often quite difficult to deal with and confront your failings. You know, the not-so-good bits (aka, the bits that don't make your various social media edits). My quote from day one of my #30in30 on Instagram about repeating mistakes is a difficult pill for me to swallow when thinking about what I have and haven't achieved. And believe me, as much as I discourage it, the self-evaluation train keeps on chugging along nicely as it approaches it's next milestone station.

It’s often said that there is no such thing as failure. That it all helps you to learn what’s not for you and what route not to take. And I've always said, it's just as important to know what you don't like, as what you do.

You need to fail in order to fully appreciate success when it comes. Again, merited. To an extent. But what do you do when there's one area of your life that you constantly fall down in? How do you look that failure square in the face and say you're going to try and conquer that one thing again without feeling like a helpless, hopeless heap of crap?

Speaking from personal experience, there can be the tendancy to be too lenient with ourselves and to use such ideas as excuses not to achieve. They placate us and put their arms around us like a friend and say, "aww, there there, don't worry. I'm sure you tried your best." It gives us a reason not to push ourselves and to give up just that little bit too easily. 

And sometimes we need that, but I think that deep down, we all know whether we have given something our all or not. I will liken everything I do to that London to Brighton trek from now on, and metaphorically speaking, if my feet aren't bleeding and blistered, and I'm not on the verge of passing out, I need to get my ass up and try again. I may be late, tired, weary and way behind, but I can't still get there.

the comfort zone, quote, goal, potential

The thing I need to change? My attitude to money. It's my achilles heel. The thing that has thwarted me for years, that I Just. Can't. Beat. Yes, I changed careers, and yes, I had a flat to pay for on my own at one point, but when you're almost 30 and still dropping into the overdraft you've had since uni, you really need to question your life. When your debt isn't shrinking, but your wages have been increasing, you come to a point, as with anything you're trying to face up to, where you just have to stop making excuses

My recent thought has been this: if you have the means to do or change something and still choose not to do it, then it's a decision. A decision to stay where you are (in that blasted comfort zone), with the familiar, the things you know, choosing not to fight for a better tomorrow for yourself. However, if that's your happy place (and I mean without one single moan, puff of exasperation or comparison to someone else) then fine. But if that bloody niggle keeps coming back, it's something that at one point or another, you're going to have to do something about. Because it won't go away.
People talk about circumstance as a reason that they can't affect change, but unless it's something you have absolutely no control over, there is always something you can do to get closer to your goal, even if you can't reach it just yet.

It's just about how deep you're willing to dig. So yeah, I'm ready to stop making excuses and being a broke ass now. Because it's time. Because it's putting the dreams and goals I have on hold. And for someone that is typically very impatient, the frustration is real. 

So if I can urge you do one thing in my countdown of posts as I hurtle towards the big 3-0, it's never to stay in the comfort zone. It's a dangerous place of hibernation and putting your head in the sand, that wastes time and prohibits challenge or growth. And sometimes, the worst thing you can do is stay still.

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