Wednesday

Note #189 // Frank: When You Just Don't Care


I'm entering one of those dangerous phases, I can tell.

I am a giver, I say yes to too many things, I'm a perfectionist and I give everything my all.

But every so often, I reach saturation point and my body needs to reset. I spread myself too thinly and then get sick and exhausted. Any form of sleep pattern is a myth, thoughts forever swirling. My attitude lies somewhere between surly and snappy and, always one to wear my heart on my sleeve, you can read the fucked-off-ness all over my face.

I know it's not fair to others, but there's a really selfish side of me that comes out in force when I'm all give, give, give to the point of burnout. So, more than thinking, "shit, I'm an hour late," I'm more like, "you should be grateful I'm here at all." 

I'm dealing with an emotional version of prickly heat, where everyone annoys me and everything is irritating and I wish the world would just leave me alone and be quiet.

Amongst other things, the blog suffers. I've actually got five posts drafted and a relaunch I've been wanting to make happen, but the passion for life full stop has been sucked from me and I'm just focusing on the basics: Get up, get dressed, eat at some point.

So, sorry if you come across me in the next few days and I've got a face like stone, or my instagram snaps are all bleak song lyrics or just non-existent. 'Cos right now, I just can't even.

Normal service will resume shortly.


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