Wednesday

Note #126 // Things I've learnt at work

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I've worked at a lot of places in my eleven-year work history, and no matter the sector or location, some things never change. Part funny, part straight-up-true-stories. Relate, learn, enjoy.

Common sense isn't common. If there is a more convoluted way to do something, you are guaranteed that's the method that will be chosen. Obviously.

If you travel during peak hours, there will always be someone trying to mount you to get onto the train on the way there.

The same person will also not want to get off for a few seconds to let you off. You know, so there's actually more space for them on board. Mmm, you see that thing I was saying about common sense? Yeah, prime example.


Try and regularly revive that first day feeling. That eager, butterflies in your tummy feeling. It will keep your work game on point and keep the Moaning Myrtle in you at bay. Remember why you started.

The toilet habits of all office dwellers is not equal. Trust me.

Keep a personal folder in your emails of achievements, thanks and congratulations, targets met and exceeded. That stuff is your artillery when asking for a pay rise or promotion.

But for God's sake, limit personal emails and their content. You don't own that inbox and it can and will be used against you if necessary.

You'll find the following characters wherever you work:

The Office Busybody. Everything concerns them. Everything. Yep, even that.
The Gossip. Will spread your shit like peanut butter on toast: thick and with vigour. Identify and avoid.
The nit-picker: the one that thinks they're your boss, even though they have nothing to do with your department. Always over your shoulder and loudly commenting on things you already have a handle on. Envisions themself as the office saviour. If anyone is going to (unnecessarily) complain, make a suggestion or make a mountain out of a molehill, it's this one.
The thief: if there's two things you don't mess with, it's my stationery and my food. This person exists in every workplace. I will find you.
The one you're scared of. And turn into a bumbling mess in front of. Cue stuttering and sweating when asked the most basic questions ffs.
The one who gets your name wrong. But it's been two years now, so it's a bit late for corrections.

Don't always be a 'yes' person. Go the extra mile and prove yourself, but recognise when someone is trying to take the piss. And let them know that you know.

Be nice to everyone. Yes, even the difficult one. And not just the ones with the obvious power and status. Please don't be that person. Seriously, if some people only realised just how much a life of bliss or Hell lies in the hands of the cleaners, the couriers the receptionist and the rest of the support staff that make shit tick.

Plus, being a bitch comes back to bite you. Industry work circles are small. You never know who's path you'll cross again. They may have been a small fry when you first met, but have a mighty influence on your next move.

And finally, just as it was in the beginning, you can count on the fact that there will always be someone trying to mount you to get onto the train on the way home.