Note #123 // 14 things I just don't understand about life

Whether it's due to age, not being cool enough or just being utterly befuddled by certain situations, there are some things that I'll just never understand.

Normcore. So let me get this straight. This is the fash pack fancy pants way of saying dressing like the rest of us do, day in, day out? Why does this need a name?

What a bae is. Not even my phone understands this (do you mean bar?). Is it babe with severely lazy pronunciation? I don't get it. Who's responsible for this?

Why an Americano is not just called a black coffee. More fancy pants tomfoolery.

I will also never know what a flat white is. And many people I know who order it can't tell me either.

Why people read the paper over the shoulders of another. Especially the freesheets. Again, it's free. Nor do I know why I get so annoyed on behalf of others as an onlooker. I'm the self-appointed commuter crusader. I won't generally give you a dressing down, but I will let my feelings be known through a series of dirty looks. Oooh!

Why my boyfriend cusses me for carrying large 'parachute' bags as he calls them, but is forever handing over his man paraphernalia for me to lug around. Respect the parachute my friend.

Why I never get to the end of any list.

Why weave is so damn expensive #blackgirlproblems

Why I'm fit to bursting at the prospect of a night out, but spend the entire day of the night in question thinking, "why did I sign up for this shit?"

Why I tear up the house looking for something, but the minute I enlist help, the item is swiftly found. What? Don't look at me like that, it wasn't there when I looked!

12 noon: "I'm going to kick - ass at the gym tonight.
6pm: Maybe tomorrow.

Why whatever I choose to have at a restaurant has always just sold out or isn't available when I rock up.

Why you can guarantee that the trains/tubes/buses will have some sort of problem the one day you absolutely have to be somewhere.

I always pick the wrong queue. Supermarket? I'm behind the mass of people that still haven't got to grips with self-service checkouts. Yes, they're a necessary evil, but you're just doing it wrong. Cash machine? I'm next in the queue after the person that wants to check the balance of all four of their accounts and have a conversation with their friend while they do it. And don't get me started on the person that refuses to accept there's something wrong with their ticket at the tube barriers.

Life, why you be like this?

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