Note #88 // Life: Dear mojo....please come back

I've been struggling for the last few weeks. I work shifts and have got out of my gym routine. I know that you can make excuses or make time, that I have the same number of hours in the day as Beyonce and that all I need to do is move more and eat less, but right now, I'm just like:

Getting back into the gym after a hiatus is SO. DAMN. HARD. But the funny thing is, I know how good I feel when I do get my arse in gear - we all do. So what I want to know is why the heck the logical part of my brain that gets filled with so many endorphins post-gym, can't get together (and override) the emotional-midnight snacker part of my brain and figure it the hell out.

Bless my boyfriend, he has been trying to usher me to the gym in all manner of ways, from gentle encouragement to trying to wake me up with his gym alarm and full on tutting and shaming. All of which are met with this kind of reaction:

I'm changing gyms so it's closer to work and I can catapult myself in there when I finish work because I just need to not think about it and get myself there on the same auto-pilot that gets me to work five days a week. I don't really care about losing weight, it's more about muscle tone and how I feel inside. I'm hoping that by the time I next update you, I'm going at the gym hard again and feeling like like a BAWSE:

Instead of my current feelings which range somewhere between this:

and, on really dramatic, hormonal days - this:

Because when you love food as much as I do and have about eight weeks till you're meant to get into a bikini on holiday, yet all thoughts are consumed by buying a standard pack of Ritz crackers and a family sized bar of dairy milk in order to supersize their new genius creation, you NEED to work the hell out. Wish me luck.

How I feel when I see a cinnamon bun...and food in general #EatsWithHerEyes