Note #35 // Sunday's Sentiment

My name's Sasha and I'm a very conscientious person. Couple this with being a bit of a perfectionist and always wanting to put a smile on the faces of those around me and it can make for great things; always being driven to try and do my very best for myself and those around me in whatever situation I might be in. Those same qualities in a different situation can also result in me crying in the toilet at work as happened on Friday. 

Even though I often say I'm annoyed (by commuters, tourists who travel in rush hour, people that don't use their common sense - you know the types), I actually have a very long tether and it takes a lot for me to properly snap. And frankly, this characteristic mix allows people to take the piss to a certain extent as I have the propensity to say yes to too many things 'for the greater good' and end up shouldering too much responsibility.

This juggling act means things can and will go wrong. And here is where the problem lies with me: while I   can be certain that the blame shouldn't lie with me in certain instances, it still feels like it's my fault and I question what I could have done to make that situation better/have a different outcome, literally torturing myself with playbacks in my mind.

But do you know what? No. No more. I think it's about time I got a bit more confident of my abilities, the person I am and my contribution to work, friendships, family life, everything. I am enough and I am doing more than enough.

Toilet tears? I can guarantee that will never happen again.

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