Note #11 // 16lbs in 16 weeks: Week 9

Something momentous happened. Actually, there have been quite a few momentous moments, weight-wise. I went into Warehouse to buy the floral silk top I had been ogling. I wanted to try it on with a pair of jeans. They only had size 12s and dear god wouldn't you know they slipped up my drum stick thighs without a wriggle, jump or struggle in sight. I had to buy them, obvs. I wore them that same week and was so excited to shove them over my shrinking derrière that I forgot to take the tag out.

I'm starting to create a capsule summer wardrobe and though I'm fully aware of vanity sizing, putting on size 10s in Whistles and Pied A Terre is ridiculously gratifying. When I first joined Weight Watchers, I had a particular dream of wearing this particular NW3 dress in a size 12. I went to try in on last week and one of the sales assistants told me it was too big. I dared to try on a size 10 and it friggin fit. IT FIT!

You may be bored of reading facebook statuses and posts about my weight loss success, but I've never done this before. I'm in my 9th week, 13lbs down with 9cm off of my waist. I honestly don't get it. It doesn't feel like I've had to put in that much effort. I guess that's because I love good, fresh food and always have. I just loved them in portions that were too big. And I loved chocolate and pastries even more. But I haven't even had to wave goodbye to them. If I want it, I eat it, thanks to the 49 weekly propoints I'm allowed on top of my daily allowance.

I don't even know what has been different this time. My fabulous friend over at Lost and Found has been a massive inspiration to me and also helped to reign me in around the cakes at work sometimes, but it doesn't feel like my attitude has been any different to when I have tried to lose weight in the past. I think there just comes a time - and it has to be an individual decision - when you make a choice that you are going to do a certain thing or achieve a certain goal. My nan has been going on at me about my weight since I can remember, but it never had an effect (well, not a positive one anyway). Nagging doesn't work. You just have to let people come to their own conclusions, or as my dad says, let 'those that don't hear, feel.' I know deep down, that my nan only has my best interests at heart (believe me, now I've lost a bit of weight, she is claiming ALL of the glory), but I haven't lived with her for a year and a half and yet, the feelings of not being happy with myself were still there. If you decide to or not to do something, whether it be for better or for worse, you have to own your baggage and deal with the consequences.

Aside from the changing room glee and health benefits of my 16lbs in 16 weeks goal, I wanted to do it, so that I could be proud of myself and say that I had achieved something. I know that I can be quite hard on myself, and sometimes rightly so, but I can look back here and document the changes, the feelings, the completion and know in no uncertain terms that I am more than capable of achieving a goal. And that is what is putting the biggest grin on my face.

Five weeks to go, three lbs to go... I'd better start thinking of the next goal post


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