Thursday

Note #3 // Fate, faith and a lot of hard work

I get home and check the post box and this is awaiting me:



After not being able to get to sleep until 3am on the first day back at work, I ate four, yep count them, four bags of crisps in the wee hours because I was bored. I'd been thinking about getting back onto Weight Watchers for some time now. And I think this landing on my doorstep post crisp-fest was total fate.

Now, I don't buy all this 'new year, new me' nonsense. I am fine just the way I am and if there is some way that I want to improve it, it won't be because some magazine is giving me solutions to problems that it is helping, in part, to create. January 1st, is NOT the only starting pistol enabling someone to develop a new habit. I think that the consumer and social pressure that is put on that date is unbelievable. And because expectation is so high, it's no wonder that the (almost inevitable) low is real low. 

I have done Weight Watchers and Slimming World before and never lost more than 6lbs without losing interest. Losing the 6lbs felt great, but the chocolate cake and other randoms I ate felt better going down my gullet at the time. But it feels different this time. I'm publicising it here for a start. My mum is also feeling the christmas bloat and is joining in. She'll be on hand and ready with the necessary reply to emails headed: 'I AM DESTINED TO BE FAT FOREVER. STUFF THE DIET. I WANT CAKE'.

I've also got some really good work mates who are embarking on a health and fitness regime too and I know I can count on them to help me out. We attended Nike Training in the park last summer, which was a really good free weekly workout and I'm sure the doubled-over laughing between two of us did wonders for my abs (me moving that fast? Hilare). 

In addition, I have a goal. I've never had that before. I've just had some ridiculous image of my head on say a black Kylie Minogue's body and thought that was enough to carry me through. It wasn't. 

'16lbs in 16 weeks'

There, I've said it. 10lbs more than I've ever lost before. This won't sound much to some, but it's enough for me. This should see me drop a dress size just in time for my holiday to Portugal in May with my boyfriend.

This also came today. So help me God, anything I order from here will be one size smaller  than I currently am!

I don't need to have a body like J-lo. I am a foodie, and I will always eat with my eyes. Unlike a certain model waif who famously claimed that 'nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.' (that bone has clearly never eaten at my nan's house), cake is still firmly on the menu. Not meaning to sound like a cliche, but this is a 'lifestyle change' not a diet. There will be days when only a Krispy Kreme will do. And don't expect me to have a salad when I'm out at a restaurant. Not gonna happen. 

I just want to be healthier and fitter, and for summer 2012 to come around without me being offered a seat on the tube because some gallant but confused commuter thinks I am with child. But above all else, there is just the desire to prove to myself that I CAN DO SOMETHING I SET MY MIND TO. So I will take it one lb at a time, one day at a time. As long as I feel better within myself, I'll be happy and then maybe it will spur me on to try and conquer something else.